Cliques, Social Groups and Peers

Everybody knows about it. Everybody has seen it happened whilst growing up and I am pretty sure every one has gone through or face it. Cliques.

Some of you may think that cliques and social/peer groups are the same thing but truth be told, they are not ! Social groups for example a team of football players. Sure they practice with each other almost every day on the same field, with the same groups of people and also with the same coach ! But not all football players of the same team hang out with each other outside of practice. Sure the whole group might get invited to an awesome party but that's just about it. They are friends do not get me wrong but they are not just as close of best friends or cliques. Why you may ask, who knows. Its just life. In my opinion with me being a member of the dance club, I mostly 'hang' out with most of the members during practice and at times when we have an event in one week, I would start spending more time with them. Its cause during that 1 week I will be so busy that I would not have much time to spend with my 'close' friends so therefore I just go out eat lunch, dinner and pray with my dance members. No this is not the case of "looking for other people when you are left out" scenarios. Since I don't have time to spend with my friends, might as well just spend it with my dance mates for the time being, its not leaving your friends for other groups of friends and when the event is over, we would say our good byes and reunite once there is another upcoming event. I do this because I want to have my own space. If I hang out with the same people 24/7 I would seriously vomit every time I hear a dance track. Still I do hang out with them when they asked me out for dinner. I mean who would reject having dinner with great and understanding people ?

Back to the topic. When I first entered University I seriously did not expect to be reintroduced into the world of Cliques/Social Groups. I thought everything was in the past. University is where you just make new friends, study, join activities...that's it. Boy was I wrong. Its not really reintroducing me to this world. Its more of introducing really since the social groups in University is totally different from those in High Schools. They are more evolved and advanced. Back in High School you would have the "Popular Girls", "Wannabes", "Bullies", "Jocks", "Nerds", "Norms", "Emo Kids" .... In University you have none of the above. In University, my campus anyway there's the "Performing Arts Kid", "We Stick Together Forever Girls", "Rising Wannabes", "Fashionista Wannabe", "Religion Extremist", "We'll Contact You if We Need You Guys", "Batch/Course Kids", "Divas", "Modern", "Locals" and the list just goes on and on.

There was a time where I mostly spend my time with group A so so much that when I asked my room mates out for dinner, they would asked me "Oh what happened to ______?" "Oh not eating with them tonight?". Because of this I started detaching myself from the group not because of peer pressure but mostly the reason being that a particular group, will not always be there for you. What happens if you are so so attach to this one group OUTSIDE of your programme that you don't even bother to be friends with the people in your programme let alone your own room mates that one day, the group that has always been there for you, says that they cannot help you with their problems. They have other things to do. Who can you turn to ? If you are one of the lucky ones and people in your programme still likes you even though you don't spend an inch of your time with them like me,then you are okay. What if you're not? I am so grateful that my room mates and my course mates were all so nice and caring. When my room mates asked "Do you have a problem?" Its like Allah answered my prayers and pushed them towards me. Still this does not mean now I only attach myself with my course mates. Its kinda difficult for this semester since I am the only guy in class. But during free periods I would spend my time in the library with other people from my programme. Teaching one another about what we do and do not understand. This is what creating a bond means.

I seriously disagree with some assumption of bonding with someone requires a lot of time, hard work and effort. Lunch dates, study dates, dinner dates, meeting dates and all the dates that exist in the world. I also partially disagree to those that says you should only be friends with those that you truly trust or deem worthy of your friendship. Some might say, be friends with everybody even if you hate them. Some interpret this as being friends with someone you had a hustle with, asking them to have lunch with you, hang out and what not but at the same time still have the sense of hatred and negativity towards that friend. I seriously learn this the hard way. So what I will do is still acknowledge the existence of the people that I hate. Greeting them, giving them hand gestures and stuff but just that. Cause I seriously cannot tolerate people that you've forgiven but all of a sudden does another stupid thing.

Back in High School, social groups USUALLY never cause any strains between one another. But here on campus, I can seriously see the bad vibes between certain cliques, groups and clubs, You're a University student, if they do not have the same view as you no matter how accurate you are, let them be. If one individuals does not agree with you it does not mean his whole club shares his points of view. What I learn in Research Methodology is that not every one has the same point of view. Everyone has their own opinion due to their own unique way of thinking and viewing things. There is this one group where they only hang out with people from their batch and course. meaning if they entered Uni on April 2008, then they would only hang out with his course mates who entered in the same year/month. They would do whatever it takes to help their friends. I have seen up close at an event where group B was caught cheating due to their excessive number of members but this one guy suddenly erupts towards a friend of mine like a volcano. He was like yelling, pointing fingers at people. The same guy even said to his friend during 'Musical Chair' we should beat all of the juniors.....for pit sake its just a game !

By the time you've reached this paragraph you must be thinking that I have a huge circle of friends and that I am being friends with every body. That is where you're wrong sister. People that I avoid due to personal personal reasons are people that I can no longer forgive, Religion Extremist because some of them on my campus don't really analyse anything and shockingly at time bad mouth people *gasp*, Jerks, people that look for you if they want something and also trannies. Not being mean but seriously I am petrified of trannies. Not all but those thick guys thinking they're super models and wear skinny jeans and tight outfits when the truth is, their love handles are from left right, up and down, north south east and west. Its not that I hate their society I mean I can tolerate gays, bisexuals and lesbians but the T in LGBT, I just cannot. Some might say "Izzat you fit in perfectly with them" No I would not. I don't wear make up to class, I smile at people not glare and I don;t burst out into Sheila Hamzah, Dyg Nur Faizah etc in public.

In conclusion, I think that no matter what, you should never attach yourself with one social groups or cliques. Well this is my opinion anyway. If you have a different opinion, its up to you. Pretty sure afterwards a few chavs would do unmentions and tweet all negativity about me. Who cares ;)

A Post Everyone Can Relate To

Getting our hopes up. Face it ! We are all guilty of having our hopes and dreams high up in cloud nine. You'd be lying if you say you NEVER had high hopes before. Putting your hopes really really high is like a gamble. Its like stacking a domino one by one. If just one domino falls to the front or the back, its over! To give you guys a clear view, I really had high hopes for my SPM results back then, thought to myself if results are good enough, I might try and get a scholarship of some sort, get into a good programme that I like and the list goes on and on. I even googled companies that would give out scholarship for students furthering their studies in certain programmes. But then, the very first piece of the domino placed way back suddenly got blown by the wind and knocks over the other pieces. My results were not that superb. I only got As ( grateful ) for the easy subjects... The same thing also happened for my first semester results in Uni. Everyone was happy updating their tweets, blackberry messenger's status, facebook status etc about how fabulous their CGPA was while I stand behind everybody else barely holding a fake smile.

From then onwards, I decided that I should never EVER have high hopes or even dream big. I did not like the feel of pain that came with it. To me, after failing to achieve what you wanted so badly has its phases. One of the common phase is the "Its ok, I should move on" phase where I usually just get up, put on a genuine smile and convince every one that I'm fine. The next phase after that is the "What if" phase. Thoughts of ' the other outcome ' slowly pops in my minds a day or two after the first phase. I would start imagining scenes of what would happen if I achieved my hopes and dreams. Lastly, there's the oh so famous "I'm All Emo, Sad and Fragile" phase where I would buy take outs,take them to my room and eat it alone and cry while doing so. I would also silently cry myself to sleep thinking about how much of a failure I am. There's also the rare occasion of taking a shower and crying at the same time. Most people never notice this because I usually shower earlier than some. Well actually the last phase is really getting off your bum and move forward.

The MAIN reason I wanted to do this post was not about being all negative and not having dreams. The real  reason why I am making this post because I slowly started having high hopes for a certain someone. To tell you guys the truth, I did not have high hopes of developing feelings for this person at all. All I wanted was a companion that would just listen to how my day went and listen to my endless amounts of complaints. Because I know that having high hopes that a certain someone will love you back BUT in the end you find out that they don't hurts like a female dog ! So I told myself that I will NEVER develop feelings for this person. I bet you know where this is going?.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I FREAKING DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR THIS PERSON.  I mean who in the right mind wouldn't ? Constant instant messages, comforts, late night calls! Big big mistake. Cause slowly I realise that person X still has feelings for their ex/crush. Because of this, gravity and mother earth literally pulled me back to earth and they pulled me hard! Fell flat on my face.Chest hurts, hearts starts to pump quickly and "You shouldn't of had high hopes for X" keeps playing in my head over and over followed by "See what you've got yourself into now?" and "You deserve it!" . I seriously thought that we would of been a 'thing'. I really really enjoy our conversations and instant messages.

I'm confused. You said you're trying to move on and I know that it is hard but still......What is it that we truly have. Can't you just tell me straight forward about everything. Clear up the air. So that I know where I stand in your life. Where I exist in your space. And yes, this is still the "I'm Having High Hopes and Dreams being with You" talking. The probability of that person reading this is really really REALLY low...you can't even find it in the Chi-Squared or Mann Whitney table ( Statistic Joke ) .


Should I let got ? Or should I keep having high hopes and dreams of being with this person ? Or should I just be straight forward with them ? If I do so, I might lose them as a good friend :( What do you guys think ? Tweet or comment or text or bbm or IM or DM me if you like.

Dusty Stove

Apparently my family and I have been eating out for almost a week now. No its not because my mom is too lazy or busy to cook, she's away attending to my dear sister who has puffy eyes or something. Pizzas, McDonald's, Chicken Skewers, Secret Recipe is what you get if you leave 4 guys alone in a house with no instructions on what to cook.

3 out of 4 ( including moi ) of those guys know how to cook but we are not told of where the vegetables, chickens etc are placed especially me since I just came back from a full semester of uni. As soon as dad arrived home after sending mom to the airport he asked us "Where do you want to eat tonight?" Out came Sushi, McDonald's, Pizza, Thai, Chinese and other. Don't get me wrong, I love eating out as much as cooking. Less dishes to clean, heck we don't even have to do the dishes if we eat out. No fuss and mess in the kitchen. The only thing is the amount at the end of the receipt !

Every time I go eat out in Kuching, I forget that the price of food here are not the same as they are in Kelantan. Drinks cost a mere RM 2 - RM 2.50 max in Kelantan while here they even cost around RM 3 to RM 5 ! I was surprised when I saw the price of Ayam Penyet here was 7 ringgit. I was about to yell at the owner at how obscured the price was but then I slowly remind myself about the price different of food here.

I am actually making this post because of the pain I feel every time I eat out with my family. Its as if I am ignoring all the pain and sweat that I drip every morning and evening after doing Pilates. Just imagine, doing 30 minutes to an hour of Pilates all flushed down the toilet with a single bite of a double cheese burger.

Still contemplating whether to eat out tomorrow at some fancy restaurant for Dad's birthday or have his son cook for him his famous pasta and spaghetti ... That reminds me, I have not gotten him a gift ! Till then....

Study Buddies

 I am more comfortable studying alone. If I don't understand about a subject I would either walk over to a friend's room or just bbm/text/whatsapp my classmates and hope that they read AND reply as soon as possible. Other than that, I am pretty I am fine studying on my own. If only I would study more seriously for those past quizzes and test. Sigh .

Still, no matter how antisocial you are, you still need atleast one study buddy with you to well you know study with you before and during finals. This post is way over due to be honest since this is actually a thank you post for my study buddies. I had in total of 8 study buddies. I didn't study with all of them at once. I mean what person in the right mind can study with that many people at once? Pretty sure there will be the occasional questions of "Are your lectrers good at their job?" "How's classes?" "When are you going back?" and the oh so dreadful "What is your carry marks for ....?"

2 of them are my classmates and close friends. 3 are my annoying yet helpful and funny room mates. One of them is this girl I usually gossip with on BBM and the last 2 are also a good friend of mine from another class and are a couple. Yeah I know I'm interrupting their study date but who cares ! I did not think myself as a third wheeler or whatever. I was more of a "I Don't Want to Repeat this Semester?Subject" kind of guy during the study session.

I'd study with my room mates late at night after I get back from the student lounge room studying there for 1 whole day. I usually study with them around 2 in the morning til 4 or 5 am. Usually study with the girls during week days when the sun is high up in the sky. We'd arrive at the library after breakfast and start our session till it's 4 or 5 PM and continue 7 pm to 12 am/1 am at the student lounge with the 2 couples . So my finals mostly consist of me waking up in the morning,food,study,food,study,shower,study,study inside the room,food sleep and repeat with praying in between.

Without my study buddies I would of never make it out of finals alive ! So thank you Nana,Nisah and Nonoy (Classmates/friends) , Aiman and Hasif ( Couple ) and Mizan, Ayie and Faidhi ( room mates )

Books in the air

*throws books up high in the air*

The day all 2011 Diploma in Statistics students have been waiting for is finally here! The day where we get to pack our bags, close our statistical tables and put away our calculators as we are done with our 3^rd semester!! Pretty sure a majority of us had our minds on the semester break when we really should have been focusing on our final paper for this semester (Business/Time Series Forecasting) which was really difficult for some and for those like me, well let’s just say that I am lucky I did not wet my pants or cry during the exam!

Had an early dinner at about 6:30 or so since I needed to pack for my flight tomorrow! I am kind of shock since I seriously did not bring that much clothes to campus this semester. Everything fits into one huge bag. From my daily wear to my night wear, boxers to socks, ties to cardigans. I don’t even know why I brought along 2 cardigans since I rarely wear them this semester. I only started using it nearing the end of semester since it’s starting to rain a lot (nearing rain season) and the weather gets pretty cold. I’m also pretty annoyed with the amount of black coloured t-shirts that I have in my locker. I don’t even know why I brought so much. Not just that insects like to hang around when I dry them, they also get white like strings and other white stuff attached to them from the washing machine. Really pisses me off to be honest.

It is kind of funny how a few days ago I was already planning on buying new clothes and re-start my wardrobe/closet. I seriously went on a budget this semester when it comes to outing, food etc. Laugh all you want, I even googled the stuff I should buy. Black is not an option since I have packed a lot of blacks this semester and only one word sums it all up….ANNOYING!  Either white strings of cloth or who knows what white stuff sticks at my black clothes every time I machine wash them. Kind of thinking hitting bright or pastel colours since they suit the rainy season that’s about to come for next semester. Hopefully my predictions are correct since it has been that way every year. Seriously hoping that I get the chance to visit a decent mall in town. Well every mall in town is decent, it’s just the people walking in it aren’t.

Cannot wait to go back home today (since it’s already midnight) and eat home cooked food and also make a mess in the kitchen myself. I’ve been dying to cook my own food since the beginning of this semester. Fast wifi, free food, air conditioning, extra car, parents, it’s no wonder why people studying nearby go back home every week. FUTURE LEADERS!

Kit Kat + Nutella + English Paper

Picture taken the night before my English paper. Was bored studying in text citations, currents issues memorising the dictionary . Decided to dip kit kat with nutella !! Weee~~ still have ulcers and its the 10th ! Been drinking water like crazy . Maybe because I don't sleep much this past 2 weeks . LIFE !!

Post "No Sleep for 2 days due to Algebra Finals"

Basically as the title goes, I did not SLEEP for 2 days and I am pretty sure that my batch mates that took Algebra this semester also did not sleep for 2 days. Well not sleeping is a bit of an exaggeration. We sleep but it lasted for only about 2 - 4 hours till we  started going through past year questions.

Pretty sure my roommates were tired of me moaning the same things over and over again . "Why didn't I study for the quizzes?" " Why was I not more focus in class?" "Why did I frequently SKIP class !" My carry marks for Algebra were like seriously low ! Almost cried at the library when my friend told me what mine was! I didn't though since the rest of my classmates also had low carry marks .Luckily we had 2 days to prep for the paper after Research and Islamic Studies. . Im saying as if those 2 days were enough ! I had actually did some early reading on Vectors during the gap between English and Research. I literally read the chapter from the crack of dawn till it was Magrhib ! Alhamdulillah I fully understand the whole chapter .Thank goodness all of my roommates went home during the gap as I seriously read the chapter out loud in my room.

To be honest, I was really jealous when I saw all my friends from different classes had their own study body while I was sitting alone doing exercises on Vectors. I was at the point where I wanted to go behind a rack and just cry my eyes out due to loneliness. But then it hit me, Ive tried studying in a group before...FAIL ! big time. But now that I am sitting all alone at the corner, I can seriously understand the theories and concepts on my own. I mean I did ask a few of them on certain things i did not understand but still, I can actually see results of me studying alone and in a group.I didnt even bother on going to the library during night time as it closes at 10. As soon as the the clock strikes 9.30 they would switch off the air conditioner, 9.45 they would play a song, signalling to students to exit the library immediately. Instead I went to the study lounge at the Student's Centre at 7.30 and study Algebra by myself till midnight. After that went back to my room, clean up, went to bed and wake up 3 4 hours later and repeat till it was the 8th !

Butterflies were in my tummy that morning. I seriously had a panic attack as I plan on not sleeping after studying from 6 to 7 but then went back to sleep till 8.20 so I was kinda panicking. But then I started playing random songs and just laugh all by myself. People were avoiding me but who cares. I still cannot believe that some of my friends still bring notes 30 minutes before the exam starts. I mean, do you really remember it? Does it really stuck in your head or is it just to satisfy yourself ?

As soon as the invigilator said "You may start" I quickly grab the piece of paper and quickly wrote down all of the formula for each chapter in order. Sad I did not focus on how to inverse a 3 by 3 matrix . I thought I knew how .  Everyone was relief that Algebra was over. Hoping I wont have to see it again next semester . Amin. Everyone updated their BBM status to "No more Algebra" :Bye Algebra" "Lol screw Life" "Algebra *Angel face*....... 2 hours later they updated "Omg so sick!" "Major Headache!" "I cant move!" ":S" . So so funny.

Mine came a bit later. Mine came 2 days later. Woke and BAMM got a major flu ! Couldnt climb out of bed. Like literally. Body was so weak that I had to asked my roommates to charge my phone, boil water etc lol. Thankfully I had some traditional chinese tea that my mom gave me. It works well when you have the flu . Felt better 2 hours later after consuming it and its not even bitter ! Its sweet like syrup .

It really hit me you know, yes burning the midnight oil just to PASS a paper is important but so is our HEALTH . We need to balance our schedule and make time for us to rest, eat, sleep and what not. Hope I'll do better next semester by not skipping class and study how I study for finals . Good luck to those that are facing their dreadful finals.